被主感动。

好久没回来了。

真的，好像真的好久、好久了。

正在筹备着婚礼，很多小小的事情都足以让人晕头转向的。烦，也有的。特别是，结婚是个新的里程碑。后来的未知数是让人觉得有点头昏脑胀的。也许，多年后，再看到这篇文章，会觉得哎呀，怎么当时这么烦呢？呵呵，所以写这篇文章是为了留个纪念。

怎么没回来了，我想有时候到了某个人生阶段，多了好多好多个秘密。不特别觉得别人会care这些小秘密，可是人在江湖，身不由己啊～又有多少个人能够拥有年少是那一份天真呢？如果是的话，这社会是没有政治和职场政治的。那，尽管是幼儿园的孩子都会搞政治吧。呵呵呵，你不跟我好，我不跟你好的。当面说出来，多简单直接啊！可是，多年后，虽然心里多了疙瘩，也不会说，我不想跟你好了。所以，多年后的大人，不会像孩子一样，虽然今天说不跟你好了，可是明天就会闹在一起。大人嘛，复杂得很，什么都往心里藏。所以，主耶稣说得对，该原谅人啊，宽恕其他人的过错，其实是善待自己啊～

正当筹备婚礼的时候，大事小事，有时候很上心头的，特别是，好象太多事情一下子涌着来。婚礼是女人梦想了好20多年的事情，一下子虽然在几个小时里会统统搞定，可是细节上，女人还是很在意的。我不要求一个富丽堂皇的婚礼，婚礼嘛，心里是森林系的女孩觉得简单，清新还是最重要的。不要一片儿红彤彤的。

可是，女人嫁了，不是嫁给一个人，而是嫁给一家人了。那，之后女人的日子会是怎么一回事，谁又说得清楚呢？做为一个爱读书的女人，什么事情还未去尝试之前就喜欢看一看资料，找一些读物的。不知道为什么，就很担心婆媳之间的问题。听闻也很多，看戏也看得多，至于现实是怎么样，真的觉得，要等婚后才清楚啦。可是，就是很紧张。我母亲一生人都是个职业女性，所以看事情也看得很通透，我也觉得我不可能会待在家里的。如果呆在家里，就真的很浪费掉我一生的志愿还有辛辛苦苦去读回来的学位了。我也知道，每一个人都不同。她的想法，可能会与我差得甚远呵。如果不要求我事事都跟着她的想法去做的话，我觉得还好吧，凑合凑合吧！

就当我心情低落的时候，因为未婚夫他就这样出差2个星期了。太多事情发生，好像全部东西都自己揽上身了。主祂今天真的特别照顾我的。今早，祂安排了人泡了一杯大大杯的bittersweet摩卡，放在我的杯子里。就是我喜欢的dark chocolate的味道，加上冒泡的牛奶和香滑的咖啡。再安排我的学生送我famous amos的饼干。感动极了。主耶稣果然知道女生心情不好的时候，最需要巧克力了。特别是没有人照顾我的时候，祂安排了人，来照顾我呵。世界上哪会有这么巧合的事情呢？虽然是个小神迹，可是我已经感动不已了。

感谢神，祂没忘记我。在我感到百般无奈的时候，如此nice地对待我。袮的心意和袮的爱，我感受到了。所以，今天，我一定要把这事情记下来，因为袮是如此地爱我。

Happy birthday~

Sunday morning is always a lovely morning... What's wonderful about today is... it's my big day :)

Today, I had my first ice-cream cake in my life. Thanks to my dear for the surprise he gave me. :)

Today, I wore a maxi-dress in the morning... it is nice to swing around with a maxi dress during a summer. (Well, in fact, I could swing around with a maxi-dress all year round because Kuala Lumpur is always enjoying its summer). However, it also means that, it would be odd if I would have to own a trench coat... which is one of my dreams, which is about to come true (waiting for its shipping, thanks to technology nowadays, we are always ready to ship things from other countries through online shopping website. Thank God for giving me the talent of being able to read Chinese, because it also means that I could ship my things from Taobao, which is cheapest alternative to get whatever...really, I think really "whatever" I could think of.) I am getting my cheongsam online. Where is the best place to get my cheongsam, definitely from China. :) I had my Kindle covers too, thanks to Taobao.

Well, it is good to finally become an OL. However, it also means I now have some purchasing power at this age. (Shh...I'm really getting older..haha) However, no matter how strong a person's purchasing power is, it always has a limit. I don't believe in living in debt. During the last few months, I have spent a lot of clothing, I admit. :) However, this is to equip my working clothes closet. I am no longer a postgraduate student, I do not have the luxury of wearing casual wear everyday anymore. Well, fashion is an interesting thing somehow.. No matter how fast it turns, it will always go back to the basic. No matter how it turns, retro would still come back, yup, for a short while. So, if I were to spend too much on trendy stuff which comes and goes... I think it is not worthy at all. If I were to copy others' styles, which would not suit me at all, it is foolish as well.

However, it is still a blissful moment for me to flip through the glossy magazines. I think I have to learn to control my mind in the same time. I am reading consumer behavior now. It is a very interesting topic, on how sales team play with consumers' psychological state. It all started from our eyes.

¹⁵ Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. ¹⁶ For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. ¹⁷ The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. (1 John 2: 15-17)

I had a vision the other day, I saw what I was wearing in the heaven. There is nothing on this earth looks as beautiful as the dress I saw. God reminded me, no matter how beautiful a dress looks on earth, it will all pass away. No matter how many diamonds, crowns, branded clothes or jewellery a person owns, it will all pass away. "Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these." Luke 12:27

It is a valuable lesson for me. I know for sure, He holds my future. I don't have to chase the wind or trying to catch what will be ruined in the end. Thank you Lord.

YELLOW

Seriously, I'm tired of living in this fear... Fear of having a tint of yellow on me? If I bought a pack of lemons, and carried it home with me, would I be stopped by police and being questioned? If I carried a sunflower with me, would I be caught? Does it mean that I can't wear yellow colour earrings or nails too?

Is wearing a yellow t-shirt or mentioning "yellow" a sin?

I'm still musing. I think I need to ask God, how long I have to avoid wearing the pretty sunny yellow.

I am tired of this.

8th of July, 2011

Maybe, this will be my last blog of the year

Finally, I have a new calender for my office desk, my colleague passed me a new calender and its theme is simplicity. A simple and beautiful calender.

Everyone in Malaysia is pretty happy today because our football team miraculously won the Suzuki Cup and we will have a public holiday on the new year eve. Some of my colleagues already received their bonus, and mine might be still need to wait for another day.

Well... this is the last working day of 2010 for me. Finally, it will be over.
I really look forward to what's in store for me next year. 2010 is a good year for me.

I pray that year 2011 will continue be a year of transformation, for myself, for the nation, for the community, and for everyone who yearns for a change.

Time flies.

Time flies, it's end of the year again. I have seen the Christmas Tree being set up in my workplace in early November. Retailers have been working very hard for this Christmas season with all the greatest promotion of the year. I just wonder, since when Malaysians are so keen to celebrate Christmas.

However, this year Christmas is slightly different. I used to feel like I have no money to spend at all during Christmas time when I was still a student. Nobody would expect a Christmas gift from me. This year, I started to earn my income, and I am really excited to get my family members some Christmas gifts. One for each person. Hooray!

So, I wrapped the Christmas gifts on Tuesday and wondering if Santa also feel happily "broke" every year. Well, in Chinese family, it's not the only gift-giving season, if you are married, you need to give some money in the red envelopes for the children and singles in your family and those who come to visit you during the Chinese New Year. So, it means, when I get married, I would be broke twice a year, once during the Christmas, once during the Chinese New Year which normally falls around January or February.

Giving is greater than receiving. So, it's ok to be financially broke sometimes. I still wonder how my dearest ones would react when they see the gifts, as I was happily wrapping them in wrapping papers, ribbon and cards.

Merry Christmas to everyone. God bless ya.

(As there are only 10 more days to go in year 2010, I was reflecting on what had been going through this year. Thank you Lord,..and I could not stop thanking You for all the wonderful blessings and little miracles You have given to me.)

New insight

It happens that I don't blog that often anymore. After a lot of things become so personal, a lot of secrets I have to keep, for others. But, I really thank God for his mercy and grace. Looking back this year, again, I need some time to sit down and reflect what have happened in my life.

Never in my life will I imagine so many things can happen so rapidly in my career life, especially for my first ever permanent job. I always imagined my first job will be very stable, not much will happen, peacefully doing what I need to do. Apparently, I was always a very obedient worker, I guess, listening orders and waiting for orders. I guess that's what I always thought about responding toward my first job. I have read quite a number of Taiwanese career magazines, and felt so blessed that I could read Chinese. I enjoy Lala's career novels and the movies, though I could not imagine one day I may climb up the career ladder so highly as Lala, just because I will possibly stick to serving people because this is God's calling and I enjoy being a front-liner to minister to my students.

I just came back from LifeGame. It's always a fun thing to play a game, which is so close-to-life. Volunteering in LifeGame is such a blessing, Life Impact Ministries is certainly a life-impacting ministry..Oops, what did I just say? Coming back from the game, life doesn't seem that important anymore. During the camp, I really thank God for giving me a totally new insight. I used to just look at other people's LV bags and wondering whether they are real. But, during this camp, when I saw 1 LV, I was thinking... hmm, maybe it costs around RM2000, and with this money, we can actually sponsor a poor and hungry kid for 3 years 4 months (RM50 per month, with World Vision)... can you believe it? Where people are starving and do not have clean water to drink, and no education? While we splurge ourselves like crazy in the city, thinking this is a must-have, since the world around us has it. Swaying away...worshiping the materialism spirit. When I started to see it with this insight, I immediately thank God for it. I really praise God for this new insight. I just can't love Him more.

Flying to Melbourne

I used to hug my baby koala bear bag around, it looked like a small koala bear crawling on my bag, when I was 5. Baby koala was one of my best imaginary friends in my childhood while I was playing teatime and 'masak-masak' (role play of cooking game). I always dreamed about going to see the real koala bear, baby kangaroos in their mother's pocket. I wonder how real penguins look like while I had a furry baby penguin as one of my toy collections.

My storybooks which were presents from my aunty who migrated to Australia never cease to surprise me. They were the books which I would flip through almost everyday after I came back from my school. My cinderella pop-out book was my most favourite book when I was a child.

I love fruits from OZ, I told my class teacher in amazement when I went school at 7,"The apple which my aunty brought back from Australia is as big as my face!" Being a good teacher and my mom's colleague, she told my mom about it and my grandparents still loved to talk about it from time to time while something reminded them about Australia or my aunty. Honestly, I can't remember what have happened then, it must be true somehow, though I can't remember a single bit of it.

So...All the fantasy about Australia. Everyone in my extended family would think about going there. But, ya, besides my grandparents, I think noone actually took an action. Until, I was forced to take leave for the whole Raya break, as my college is going to "close shop" for 1 whole week, and I was thinking..what to do? Well, since I finally have my stable income flowing in every month, why not?

In the beginning, I was thinking to put it aside, since my dear would be on duty and I'm going to go there alone if I really wanted to go. Yet, thank God that his colleague asked for a switch with him for some reasons. He's free to go. And..tadaa~ we're going tomorrow :) to OZ!!!

So... Kangaroos...


Penguins @Philip Island
and the Great Ocean Road

Here I come!!!